About my picture

Let me tell you about the picture in this page.

There is a hideway that I always go to when I get the chance, usually during summer breaks, sem breaks, Christmas breaks, even long weekends. It's a beach resourt tucked in a faraway barrio in Batangas, next to an overrated resort with imported white sand, dead corals and a depleted fish population. My hideaway is nothing like Bora or Palawan, but the people, the sea, and the memories I made there with friends and lover make it a paradise for me and BF.

I discovered it in 2004 when my mountain climbing org held its beachineering adventure there. Back then, the place looked nothing like a resort. It was simply a beachfront property with a shore big enough to accommodate around 10 tents. Since then, that beachfront patch has always been like a second home.

In the summer of 2005, I organized a beach vacation there for my law-school friends (Machie, who is now a happy wife and mother; Trisha, who just left law school to try working; Jam, who is now in Singapore; Haydee, a childhood friend; Paul, whom I don't want to talk about; and Ronald, who is now my Be).

The picture, which was taken by Ronald, shows me in that memorable outing, with a case of stale beer sitting behind me. Suffice it to say that it was one of those moments that "sealed the deal" between Ronald and me, because we fell hard shortly after.

These photos, taken by paparazzi Haydee using her cell phone, captured some unguarded moments between me and now-BF. The first one shows me and him watching the big jellyfishes with small fishes swimming in their bellies. The second one shows us rejoining the pack from the stolen moment, with me drinking a glass of stale beer.

BF and I have gone back to that hideaway a lot of times since, each time we make it a point to think back on previous memories and make some more.

Here are some more photos from my beach hideaway...

Overdrive

Five years of living at breakneck speed has totally altered my life-pace (if there's such a word). Now I find it really hard to slow down or stop for a moment when all around me, things are screaming, demanding to be done.

I learned life's greatest irony several years ago atop Mt. Tarak, from an old climber I didn't know. He said, this is the reason why you should never hope to ever be able to do what your heart desires: When you are young, you have all the time and energy, but none of the money to spend on your passion. When you start working, you get all the money, with the energy still, but you lose the time. When you retire, you have all the time, the money, but none of the energy that you used to have.

Today, I do not have the time to do what I should rather be doing (e.g. going on a beach or mountain retreat). Neither do I have the energy left because my obligations do a great job of sapping out my strength. And most pathetic of all, no moolah to spend on luxuries, no matter how crucial they are to my sanity.

So this is why I'm here. I hope to keep this blog as my nightcap of sorts. A signal to myself that it's time to account for what has been gained and lost today. A cue for my tired soul that it's time to take a much-deserved rest, far from the maddening world.

Right here is where nothingness begins.