"Welcome back" post

Warning: this is incoherent.

It feels like forever since my last post. My fingers are nimble but my mind is still cobwebby from the residues of my previous life. You know, life as a full-time student with a full-time job, trying--but failing, sometimes desperately--to be a full-time lover at the same time.

Have you ever found yourself in a cusp? That point where you're ready to leave everything behind and jump off into...nothingness (which happens to be the title of this blog)? In high school, English class, we were asked to do a persuasive speech on any topic that we wanted. My speech was all about death. And my goal was to persuade my audience to not fear death. My premise was that we fear death because we don't know what lies after it. But "not knowing" doesn't mean it's a bad thing. It simply means "not having knowledge," which is actually a neutral thing. And until we know for a fact that death is a dark, devouring place, there is no point in fearing it. But of course, I wasn't convinced myself.

And so, about three weeks ago, while the powers that be were on a round table in school trying to decide the fate of us twenty, I feared the fear that most of us feel with death, which is associated with uncertainty.

But God is good, especially to those who work their asses off. Like the American Idol hopefuls, I leaped with joy when Jean texted that we were through to the next level. The "next level" happens to be tougher than Hollywood week. So I start working my ass off again, positive that my God will be consistently good to me as He has been in my past life.

I wanted to write a paragraph or two about God, too. So here goes... 

In the past few months, I have learned three things that most people probably already know:

1) God moves in mysterious ways.

2) When you feel like your life is all messed up and every day only gets worse than the last, count your blessings.

3) God knows what you need, even if you don't pray.

Needless to say, my life since Lolo Sulping died, has been intense. Like a sponge, it was saturated with troubles that left me like a dried pulp when I fight and squeeze them out. And the troubles came in many different shapes and colors, too. When I think back on it, and try to count my blessings, I say to myself, "At least, they were anything but boring."

But I'm one big piece, and the smaller pieces of me are held together by the realization that all things do pass. Even the grieving for the dead passes and gives rise to a fresh will to live. (Which reminds me, Lola Rosa is alive and probably misses me already. I need to drop by.) Even problems that seem to have no solution at first glance have a way of sorting themselves out. And when all else fails, people like Wish Ko Lang's Vicky Morales do show up to right the wrong or to simply help you to breathe easier. (Right, Be?)

Back again to to the cusp. While I feel the fear of the unknown, I rest with the thought that from where I stand, it looks like things can only get better. I have been wrong about a lot of things, but I hope I'm right this time. But even if I turn out to be wrong, it's going to be okay because God is good. And that's one thing that I can never be wrong about.

The curious case of the Alabang Boys

The radio was on two days ago while I was getting ready to leave for school. It was the Senate Hearing on the "Alabang Boys" and State Prosecutor John Resado was on the hot seat.

Much was said and insinuated about how Fiscal Resado could have been bribed out of filing the case. For his part, Resado also got some primetime airtime to explain the legal and factual infirmities that led him to dismiss the case because it wouldn't stand trial anyway. After everything, I think most everyone is missing the point. And it is one which, when pursued and answered, would render everything else--related controversies, accessory accusations and ancillary questions--moot and academic.

The only real and important issue here is this: "Whether or not, in acting as he did, Fiscal Resado fulfilled his mandate in his capacity as a state prosecutor representing the Republic of the Philippines." In short, did he do his job?

The Philippine justice system may not be perfect, but it is so engineered to ensure that all parties get access to the courts and the higher interest of justice is ultimately served. In this scheme of things, the state prosecutors, who are under the Department of Justice, play an instrumental role. They are the ones that set the wheels of justice in motion. And when the judicial mechanism starts to grind, as when the case has been successfully filed before the court, the prosecutors' job continues. They represent the state throughout the litigation and work to ensure that the interest of the state and the general public is upheld via a conviction.

This peculiar role is of utmost importance in criminal cases. In every crime, the party in interest (the party who stands to be benefited or injured by the results of the case) is necessarily the state, which is why every criminal case is prosecuted in the name of the People of the Philippines. This is so because every crime is deemed to be an affront to the state and a violation of public order. The interest of the state is in fact bigger than that of the private party who was actually injured. In a criminal litigation, the injured party is reduced to being a witness for the prosecution, such that a criminal case can go on in his absence and a conviction can be had if other substantial evidence warrants the same. In criminal cases, every conviction is a victory of the state.

It is thus easy to see which side of the scale state prosecutors should be in. And it becomes more apparent why, in deciding which cases should be filed on behalf of the state, state prosecutors are only required to ascertain "probable cause" and not "guilt beyond reasonable doubt," which properly pertains to the courts. 

"Probable cause" is nothing more than a reasonable belief that a person has committed a crime. The test of probable cause is whether or not, on the strength of the personal knowledge of the complainant or officer of the facts and circumstances, there exists grounds sufficient for a reasonably prudent man to believe that the person has committed an offense and should be brought to trial.

On the other hand, "guilt beyond reasonable doubt" is the highest level of proof, and the onus probandi required in criminal cases to secure a conviction. As such, more than mere personal knowledge, it is a highly a matter of evidence.

A team of drug enforcement experts, in the exercise of their official duties, were able to apprehend a group allegedly in the act of committing the high crime of selling dangerous drugs. Now, somebody tell me which part of the definition of "probable cause" the prosecutors handling the curious case of the Alabang Boys did not understand.

There may, or they may not have been irregularities in the gathering of evidence, but these are best left to the courts to rule on, based on the quantum of evidence that the law requires them to employ. Last time I checked, public officers in this jurisdiction still enjoy the legal presumption of regularity (i.e., public officers in their exercise of their official functions are presumed to have performed their duties regularly). Pieces of evidence to the contrary are rightly for judges and justices to examine in the light of this presumption, and not for the state's lawyers to use to defeat the avowed public purpose of: "safeguard[ing] the integrity of its territory and well-being of its citizenry, particularly the youth, from the harmful effects of dangerous drugs on their physical and mental well-being, and to defend the same against acts or omissions detrimental to their development and preservation," giving rise to the need "to enhance further the efficacy of the law against dangerous drugs, it being one of today's more serious social ills." (Section 2, RA 9165)

I have been trying not to end this in a spiritual tone. But I find that when you're fed up and resigned to the fact that in this part of the world, people can do the worst things and get away with it--over and over again--you find yourself turning to God. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how many Senate hearings you survive or how many times you're vindicated in your lifetime. What matters is how God will judge you by nothing more than your conscience when your time is up.

I can almost hear Him say:

"Tinimbang ka ngunit kulang."

Reality bites

It's been five days since my last blog. Needless to say, I've been busy coming to terms with the sad reality that school is back to bite me.

I've been taking my sweet time, writing as I pleased, working as I pleased, drinking as I pleased, and then this:

16 cases, BP 129, Family Courts Act, RA 7961, DARAB New Rules of Procedure, Voluntary Arbitration Act, Securities Code and at least five other court issuances.

Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, it did, of course. I officially opened recitation season and was forced to plumb my sleepy brains for such long-forgotten stuff like the types of actions according to subject matter, types of action according to binding effect, significance of the distinctions, types of jurisdiction, etc. We didn't get to discuss the entire assignment, but now we're supposed to read 18 additional cases, Rules 1 and 2 and Regalado's annotations, and other scattered provisions.

And did I mention that's only one subject? I also need to review the entire book on negotiable instruments for another subject, read 24 cases and 20 provisions for yet another, three cases and three provisions for yet another--all for this week. And one prof has yet to give his first homework.

What a way to get jolted back to the reality that life is a lot of things happening at the same time, and living is the never-ending struggle to stay sane and keep oneself afloat.

One good news to cap the week: I passed Labor, Crim and Poli. Just waiting for the Civ 1 results but that's always been the least of my problems. So it's looking like half of the final hurdle is over.

And so I live, and I'm biting back.

Early-stage Alzheimer's?

I haven't taken Glutaphos since last sem ended. I am praying that this is the only reason why my memory has not been up to speed lately.

Just last night, I had three embarassing and frustrating memory-gap moments.

MG Moment #1:

Me: Be (pet name for BF), maganda daw yung Twilight na book sabi nila Tin?

Ronald: Oo nga, di ba sinabi ko na sayo yun?

Me (trying to remember while covering up): Ay talaga? Trilogy pala yun e, no?

R: Oo nga, sinabi ko na yun di ba?

Me (desperately attempting): Nakita ko kasi kay Tin kanina e.

R: Pinicturan ko pa yung cover tsaka pinakita ko sayo di ba? Tsaka pinakita ko rin yung book nung nasa National Bookstore tayo?

Me: Oh, right. Sorry.

MG Moment #2:

R (to his Dad): Buti na lang napaayos na yung susi ng Honda, Daddy (or something to that effect, I can't remember how it went exactly).

D: Oo nga.

Me: Meron pong nagho-home service na mga locksmith.

D: Oo meron nga. Tumawag nga kami e.

R (in hushed tone, to me): Be, magkausap tayo sa phone two days ago nung ginawa yung susi, di ba?

A: Ay...okay.

MG Moment #3

I honestly can't remember. Will post separately when it gets back to me.

Before the night ended, BF said: "You don't listen to me."

I said, "Of course, I do. Baka puyat lang ako or maraming iniisip during those times."